Things that make you go F&$@!!!!

I’m sitting in row 18, seat C on a flight from Providence to Atlanta this morning. It’s not a terribly long flight, two hours or so, but long enough to get some work done and maybe zone out for a little bit (necessary since said flight left at 6:20 a.m.). Alas, I am seated behind one of those unique species of beast which insists on putting the seat all the way back. So as I type, my laptop is hanging onto my tray table for dear life, my legs are wedged underneath, ankles at 90 degree angles, and I can only see my screen if I tuck my chin under a little so I get in just the right spot for the LCD. Good thing we are sans middle-sitter on this leg of the trip, or I wouldn’t have anywhere to put my coffee and then I’d be seriously ticked off.

Below you will find the top five annoying things about staring at the back of a head in this situation:

1) I never. Ever. EVER. Want to see anyone’s scalp with this level of detail.
2) I hate it when men don’t do anything about the hair on the back of their necks. It is NOT ok to have an unruly wilderness back there, have your barber make a nice clean line, son!
3) It’s damn near impossible to see anyone sitting in front of your row, and people watching on an airplane can only happen with the people in front of you. Turning around and staring is just plain creepy.
4) If so much as one hair sheds and falls on my computer/iPod/tray table, I will be grossed out for the rest of my day, if not my natural life.
5) The worst part of this situation is not just the lovely view of the back of the head, but also the glimpse of side overwhelming the armrest and spilling into the aisle. Really.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, back to work. Cheerio, old chaps!