Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Things that make you go F&$@!!!!

I’m sitting in row 18, seat C on a flight from Providence to Atlanta this morning. It’s not a terribly long flight, two hours or so, but long enough to get some work done and maybe zone out for a little bit (necessary since said flight left at 6:20 a.m.). Alas, I am seated behind one of those unique species of beast which insists on putting the seat all the way back. So as I type, my laptop is hanging onto my tray table for dear life, my legs are wedged underneath, ankles at 90 degree angles, and I can only see my screen if I tuck my chin under a little so I get in just the right spot for the LCD. Good thing we are sans middle-sitter on this leg of the trip, or I wouldn’t have anywhere to put my coffee and then I’d be seriously ticked off.

Below you will find the top five annoying things about staring at the back of a head in this situation:

1) I never. Ever. EVER. Want to see anyone’s scalp with this level of detail.
2) I hate it when men don’t do anything about the hair on the back of their necks. It is NOT ok to have an unruly wilderness back there, have your barber make a nice clean line, son!
3) It’s damn near impossible to see anyone sitting in front of your row, and people watching on an airplane can only happen with the people in front of you. Turning around and staring is just plain creepy.
4) If so much as one hair sheds and falls on my computer/iPod/tray table, I will be grossed out for the rest of my day, if not my natural life.
5) The worst part of this situation is not just the lovely view of the back of the head, but also the glimpse of side overwhelming the armrest and spilling into the aisle. Really.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, back to work. Cheerio, old chaps!

Monday, May 29, 2006

It's 10 p.m., do you know where your refridgerator is?

I'm starving and don't know what to do about it. Are there any snacks to be eaten at 10 p.m. that won't screw up one's sleep pattern? Discuss.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Shriek of the Month (ack... will be weekly again soon, I can feel it!), Vol. 14

He wasn't telling me no lie. The hook did bring me back.

After a roller coaster of Memorial Day plans (staying here, going to Lex, going to Hoboken for Fiore's, Hawaiian pizza and good times with good peeps, finally back to staying here, with the added bonus of dealing with non-functioning brakes), the weekend wound up ending on a very positive note... the sweet sounds of Blues Traveler at Rockville's Hometown Holidays concert. I hadn't heard about it until yesterday -- on a whim I checked the Memorial Day events listing on WaPo and saw that they were playing for free, proceeded to have But Anyway stuck in my head for hours, and was sold.

There are two key elements which converge in Blues Traveler that place them among the Bands That Make Me Happy. First off, of all the evolutions of American music, the convergence of R&B and country in jammy but still rocky/bluesy bands is my absolute, hands-down favorite. The Black Crowes, NMA, moe., VACO, Agents and the like are my ideal soundtrack for happy, chill days with friends and cold beer and barbecue (when it's hot) and hot tubs and fireplaces and Bailey's (when it's not), and Blues Traveler absolutely falls into this category. Second, there's nostalgia. I remember the days when being able to get past "Suck it in, suck it in, suck it in if you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boelyn..." was a mark of serious cool. I also have an unused ticket to see them at the Horde festival from 1997 that reminds me of sitting at the California sulking over my cheese fries wishing I'd been there instead of working in my Dad's office all day. So, clearly, I couldn't pass up the chance to see them for free and redeem a crummy weekend at the same time.

"Shut up and get to the point. How were they," you say? Well, I did a little dancing, did my fair share of singing along, the jamming wasn't Phish-level over the top, but they didn't stick to the album version either (it was juuuust right!), I got to hear everything I wanted to hear (they are not a band afraid of their hits, and in fact, they speed them up, it's impressive), plus some bonus good stuff from their new album - which sounds pretty good - as well as an excellent cover of The Devil Went Down To Georgia with harmonica subbing for fiddle that was one of the coolest things I've seen in a while, so on the whole... I'm going awesome.

Except for the one dude who tapped me on the arm and asked me not to blow smoke his way. I put it out 'cause I'm a lov-ah not a fighter, but I have several problems with his request. First, I was blowing it straight up, my apologies for being unable to control the wind. Second, it was outside. In a parking lot. With a fair amount of open space into which he could move. Third, it's a Blues Traveler concert, John Popper smoked three cigarettes during the set, and I smelled many, FAR more offensive odors than cigarettes, so give me a flippin' break.

One other thing to note, for the first time, I get Run-Around. I tend to get so into the music of bands like this that I often gloss over what's going on in the lyrics, but there's a lot here that hit home. I'll let it be the last word on this one...

"Like a game show contestant with a parting gift
I could not believe my eyes
When I saw through the voice of a trusted friend
Who needs to humor me and tell me lies
Yeah humor me and tell me lies
And I'll lie too and say I don't mind
And as we seek so shall we find
And when you're feeling open I'll still be here
But not without a certain degree of fear
Of what will be with you and me
I still can see things hopefully."

Thursday, May 25, 2006

When the Onion's good, it's very good

Monday, May 22, 2006

There are other things I should be writing

Like the report I owe my boss, or thank you cards for my birthday party/gifts (to those who read this, consider yourself thanked!), but I've decided to share my thoughts this evening with denizens of the Lunchbox instead. And my thoughts are focused at the moment on radio.

Right before I moved to DC, New York lost its last current rock station, K-Rock. A casualty of Howard's Jump to Satellite, it went talk after losing, um, it's only talk show host? Bass ackwards if you ask me. Can you imagine the meeting to decide that one?

Suit A: "We're losing all our talk, what do we do now?"
Suit B: "Play decent music?"
Suit A: "TERRIBLE! Next!"
Suit B: "Assemble the lamest collection of talkers ever?"
Suit A, suddenly morphing into cutout Guinness guy: "BRILLIANT! Call David Lee Roth..."

But I digress... At that point, it wasn't even really playing active rock, it was just a sorry mix of mediocre rock. I know that among my generation, there is practical beatification of Def Leppard, but really, I can only hear "Pour Some Sugar On Me" so many times without wanting to throw myself out a window. So I spent a few weeks without a decent station to accompany me on my commute home. And they were long. Dark. Hopeless days. Thank goodness for the iPod, G-Rock and WFUV, at very least, I heard some decent Triple A.

Then I moved to DC, and although WHFS has up and moved to Baltimore (really, was the real estate market that bad?), there was still DC101. A bastion of 90s glory with a decent amount of new stuff, and for some reason Elliot kind of amuses me. Wholly embarrassing admission, but there it is.

Now, almost a year in, I'm sorely disappointed. I really only listen to the actual radio when I'm in my car, and admittedly, that's not very often. Couple of times a week, tops. So you would think the last problem I'd have would be boredom with what's on the radio. When you only hear maybe ten songs a week on the damn thing, how bad can it be? Real bad. Literally EVERY time I have turned on DC101 in the last maybe two months, I have heard that damn Nine Inch Nails song. You know it, "There is no you, there is only me. There is no fucking you, there is only me..." etc., etc. Apparently! It's the only thing on the radio so Trent Reznor must actually be omnipresent. Usually it's followed by Live, "All Over You," or something Nickelback. This is a very sad state of affairs and has caused the Shriek of the Week on this very blog to go dormant.

So please, DC101, I am begging you with all that I am and all that I have, PLEASE play something new once in a while, because I CANNOT take it anymore. I am too young to be listening to things-I-already-know-the-words-to ALL the time (and to type as if I'm Dr. Cox), and there really aren't any other options for me in this fair city.

P.S. As I went back to get the link for DC101, that damn song was in their last 10 played. I kid you not.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

MLB should never schedule the subway series while I'm PMS-ing

I wish I was at Shea... sniffle, sniffle, sob, sob, sob...

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Thank you, Fritz... G-TOWN REPRAZENT!

From today's GoG Chat:

Washington, D.C.: I've always hated Georgetown... no parking, no good way to get there without a hassle(read: no metro), the people at MAC give me nightmares, complete tourist-euro-vibe and now thanks to the Nightlife Agenda's Madison enlightenment, I don't think I can go there again. The last two times I was out there (Mate and Blue Gin) I wanted to shoot myself in the foot just so I could leave. I'd rather be in Penn Qtr anyday!!

Fritz: Yeah, because Legal Seafood, Clyde's, Hooters and Coyote Ugly are so much better than Blue Gin, Modern, the Waterfront and Birreria Paradiso.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

As with everything, I go zero to sixty.

Mucho post-happy today. But who can NOT blog when there is an opportunity to sing the praises of "follow the bouncing Mr. Met head?" I'll sing it. Loud and proud!

The government has gone mad.

Seriously. Whose brilliant idea was this? According to the federal government, any American woman is a baby-making machine. This is her primary function and she should be treated as and act as if AT ANY MOMENT sperm will find their way into her temple of fetal growth. Give me a fucking break. And a cigarette. And a drink.

Birthdays rule...

But make me very, very tired. Had a heck of a party on Saturday. It was one of those moments of true serendipity... everyone reached the same level of drunk at just about the same time. So we had a blast. I will post a full tale of all the debauchery later, but I probably ought to do some work now. Or maybe just go get breakfast.

Also, FREE BUTTERSTICK!!!!

ttfn.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Stay Tuned

The movement is coming.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Poor old A.C.

First, Miss America leaves. Now this. What is the world coming to? Does the Borgata mean nothing? And more important, who in their right mind would think it's a good thing to own the Atlanta airport? I shudder at the thought...